Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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