Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
