She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
