hell yes lets make some ravioli
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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