I don't think brook has ever known best
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
