she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
