Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
