he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
