im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
