I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
