Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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