Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
They are going to name an STD after you.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
you made out with another girl for some wings
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
