dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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