Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
