Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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