In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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