He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
