so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
