like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
stop calling my apartment porn island.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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