It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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