used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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