whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
