Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
