Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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