Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
