I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
