he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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