Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
