yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
