I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
