just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
you made out with another girl for some wings
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
