If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
