She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
