ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize