is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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