my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He's a Shit stain on my heart
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize