We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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