we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
