Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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