At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
