Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
