Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
