Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
