PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
