I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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