Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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