It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Green mimosas i think yes
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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