i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
