she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
