69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
its liver damage thursday
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize