oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
PANTIES FOUND
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