I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
try to milk me bitch
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