Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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