Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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