Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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