i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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