I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i dont even know how to be here
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I wish there were birth control emojis
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
