he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
