so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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