haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
