just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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