didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
