Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
