I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
