My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
