$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize