About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize